Sub Conscience.
While things all around me may be exciting and enjoyable, while I sometimes may feel overbooked, generally I can push on, grab hold of my ultimate strength, Jesus. Today was hard, while out jeeping my heart just hurt. I missed my boy, my sweet baby, I thought of his birth, and the horror of finding him. The tears came. I pushed them away as best I could and pressed on. Then at our Good Friday service I once again had my heart and thoughts turn to him. I miss him so much, I hurt so bad, and nothing really can change that. Tears came once again, I did my best to not show it. I thought of all kinds of non emotional, non mother like things... like how I could re-decorate rooms in our house. It only worked temporarily. Then as I was messing around on my phone I realized today is March 29th, sweet Nate would be 13 months today, 13 months ago I gave birth to the most perfect healthy beautiful baby boy. Little did I know my heart would be ripped out and torn apart. Although I am so thankful th